​If you’ve read the latest G.I. Joe series from IDW, the only clues you’ll find about Cobra are that it’s evil, expansive, and extremely stealthy. Their goal is to take over the world, and the best way to do that is without everyone seeing you try to take over the world; Cobra’s forces aren’t for making an assault on Washington D.C., they’re for quietly taking over military installations and defending themselves from G.I. Joe.

So, when your organization depends on you remaining an elusive mystery, secrecy is #1. That is, unless you joined Cobra in the ’80s or ’90s, then you got stuck with the shittiest uniforms of any military outfit other than when the Village People were in the Navy. Honestly, these 15 Cobra Vipers must have felt really, really stupid wearing these neon monstrosities. They don’t promote stealth; they promote Mardi Gras and sipping girl drinks. They’re so garish, they’re about as menacing as Rainbow Brite — clearly, Cobra Commander had the big box of Crayola crayons when designing these uniforms. Here’s 15 Vipers, all regretting dropping out of community college. Thanks to YoJoe.com for the photos.

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