If you want a quick wank, have no shame, and don’t know what pornography is, then don’t worry. Here’s Tecmo Koei to the rescue with some new screens of Dead or Alive: Paradise, the PSP iteration of the deliciously sexist series. 

As you might expect, the shameless shots all revolve around women with big boobs and not a lot else going for them. They want you to look at their breasts. They’re smiling about it, so don’t worry about them feeling ashamed or anything. Everything is alright.

Go right ahead, take a look. Nobody needs to know, and who should care if a hand slides down your pants while you do it? Go on, it’s all fine. We’re all friends here. If you want to manipulate your sac and apply pressure to your perinium while looking at these pictures, it’ll be just between us. Should you wish to stimulate the base of your helmet with a finger, that’s perfectly fine. Go on. Just a bit. That’s better. See? What harm could come of OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE BASTARD!?!?!?!

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