That’s what I call short-track speed skating, something we only pay attention to every four years. I also want to pronounce “Apolo Ohno” as “App-oh-low” for some reason. Second L please!

And the Olympics are underway. This is one of the largest global television sports properties, which means we get two weeks of ads featuring rich people bitching about how rich they are. So before day two’s events get going, here’s some non-video game topics that you’ll hopefully find hilarious and/or thought-provoking.

• Original ad: “**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****” Alright, here’s a shotgun stuffed through a Kleenex box. $1500 for the weapon, $5 per box of tissue. Check out that Glock disguised by a Solo cup.
• Chatroulette’s creator reveals himself. Turns out a 17-year-old Russian kid is responsible for thousands of exciting encounters like this one.
• Director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Zack and Miri Make a Porno) allegedly thrown off a Southwest Airlines flight for being overweight. The episode unfolds over Twitter, naturally
• Thieves steal treasured San Francisco landmarks – made out of LEGOs. A $500 reward is offered.

[Image via wikipedia]

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