​Rule 34 clearly states: If it exists, there is porn of it. And it’s true. Dear God damn my eyes, it’s true. I’ve inadvertently seen men peeing on stuffed Roger Rabbit dolls, men having sex while gulping down creamed corn, and a nude Meg Griffin from Family Guy sexually eating her mother. Forget the N-word in Huckleberry Finn, kids are getting warped by the internet on a regular basis.

So I’ve come up with a list of 10 things that I hope Rob never finds erotic fan fiction about. I KNOW IT IS PROBABLY OUT THERE. You don’t need to point that fact out (and most certainly you don’t need to link to it). But these are 10 that are so weird, so obscure, so sexually unappealing that I think would finally drive me insane, drooling and mumbling as I wander down the street with my bloody scalpels, trying to kill as much of humanity as I can before the cops take me down.

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10 Characters We Never Want to See in FFF