Aliens. We love everything about them in movies. We love the way they look, their origins, their killer instincts and especially their sexual habits. We all want to fuck a green chick from Star Trek, or a Twi’Lek stripper but what about the aliens that procreate that aren’t so pretty? How does the Queen Alien get pregnant to lay chambers full of facehuggers? So it begs the second question in my agenda for our Top 10 List…Who would be the WORST aliens to have sex with in the realm of Sci-Fi film and television? The staggering amount I came up with was extremely fast paced, but to keep it a little simple, I picked most of our favorites, yours and mine, and just as an FYI this is not going to be pretty. Its going to be pretty fucking vulgar.

Please leave some of your biggest fears of who you’d fuck…Or more afraid, to get fucked by!

10) Jabba The Hut- Everybody knows fat chicks do way more stuff. And fucking Jabba the Hut in his A-Sexual Anal Vagina will be a nice change for anybody lovin’ a heavy hottie. Plus side to the plus size, he seems self lubed up, what with all the slime, so you can probably just fuck a slippery fat roll…Or like, under his armpit. Downside is if he gets on top, you’re dead. Or if you don’t give him an orgasm, it’s to the Rancor you go!

9)Any Klingon- Why would it be a Klingon to be the worst alien to fuck? Well there’s the whole anger thing. They are always so mad, even the chicks. This guy looks a Puerto Rican tranny with crazy 80’s hair. I think you could never make love to a Klingon cuz they’d always be hate fucking you! A male would ram his dick through the back of your head as he skull fucked you, and a Female would ride you, grunting and roaring until the bed broke!…Well ladies, the plus side is that their dicks are ridged for you’re pleasure.

Thermian- Ah, Galaxy Quest, a great movie with a wondrous array of aliens. However the peaceful Thermians in human form are kind and beautiful, when not using their technology to keep it Human they are like octopus with massive eyes. So, plus side? They have so many tentacles that they could possibly give 8 dudes hand jobs at a time, and sometimes stimulate the prostate at the same time while cradling your stepchildren. If you plan on entering a Thermian, it could get problematic, because while some clitoris’s look like squid beaks, an octopus’s mouth IS an actual squid beak and the last thing you hear before you pass out is the crunch the Owl makes to get to the center of the tootsie roll pop!

7) Yak Face- The most expensive original action figure out of any Star Wars figure available, he was in the background on Jabba’s Barge in a few shots right before it got nuked. I know someone who dated a girl called “Mongoloid Head” and I have had my one Yak Face…But the REAL Yak Face?…Sheer ugliness alone puts him on the list, but my plus side-down side? Plus side is you could probably fuck his well lubed, runny giant nostril, while his whiskers tickled your balls. Also he must have a Yak tongue, long, wet and black so a chick would be well satisfied getting her some Yak Face oral. Hmmm, I don’t see any downsides…I guess just the yak face.

6) The Borg- Easy and simple why they would the worst to have sex with. You would be assimilated.

5) Gamorrean Guard- They don’t seem like they would be the most considerate lovers. Grunting and squealing away as they rammed a thick, green cock into you. They would definitely use teeth sucking you off and a female riding you would definitely crack your pelvis and even maybe snap you’re cock off. And she wouldn’t care, she would ride you through the ground until you came (literally) out in China! But doggystyle with a female Gamorrean would probably be kinda the worst sex. They probably have REALLY wide, sloppy vagina’s, that drool all that clear goo out of it like their mouths…That may sound nice, but its so wide it would be like using a five year old Asian boy’s penis in a butter churner.

4) The Alien- So whatever way you have sex with this Xenomorph, its all going to end badly, and probably be the end of you. First of all, its main priorities in life is to fight and kill, drag back victims to the nest, and protecting the Queen. So Sex isn’t on it’s list, because like I said, it will end. Badly. You want oral? The little tiny hole puncher mouth rips your cock off, and if you try doing it…Doggystyle? It’s acidic drool and blood I’m assuming goes the same for its self lubricating acidic vagina which will melt off your wang. Plus side is, if the Alien goes down on a chick, it can rapid fire its black, dildo, mini mouth in and out (albeit a little toothy) until the girl screams in delight…And then is dragged away to the facehuggers.

3) Predator- We don’t know what the Predator females look like, so lets just imagine for one second that their vagina’s look nice like a regular human female. Because any of us who have had a bad bar night have all gone home with a girl who had a Predator Pussy, including the teeth and ready for the HUNT! So getting oral from one of these guys would definitely be toothy, come on, it’s unavoidable. Downside is that they LOVE trophies, which means as soon as they’ve fucked you and added that notch to their belt, they rip out your skull and spine to polish and mount on the wall. So, don’t fuck a predator, unless your the top, then as an honorable race, you would have won!

2) A.L.F.- Why would he be the first runner up?  A number of reasons! His blow jobs would all be dry and give you cock-rug burn, and you know that his woolly dick would give a girls twat 2nd degree rug burns..Chapped lips, not pretty. Also ALF always wore that trench coat, sunglasses and a fedora  as a puppet in disguise, so he could go out and flash his giant hairy cock and balls to unsuspecting high school girls. But when he walked around all the time, naked, his cock was never there! Which leads me to believe he tucks it back like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs… And if you wanted to bend ALF over and fuck him, the worst thing would be all the shit stuck in his fur around whatever orifices he has down there.

1) K-PAX- Worst Alien to have sex with? Kevin Spacey, K-PAX. Why? Because either way you are either fucking, or being fucked by Kevin Spacey. Nothing is more terrifying than that!

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Top 10 WORST Aliens To Have Sex With!