Aaaaaaand I’m back. All signs point to yesterday’s surgery being a success, and I’ve since returned home higher than a drug mule that just had a narcotic-packed balloon pop in his @$$hole. I’ll be downing these pain pills like Easter candy (which they might be) for the week, so you’ll have to excuse me if I’m difficult. Or easy. *seductively gesturing to crotch with lazy-eye* Anyway, 3-years and 8-months in the making, this is my 8,000th Geekologie article. That’s like 200 jokes, maybe more. On the articles, you readers (and fake Louis Vuitton-hocking hosebags) have produced over 293,073 comments (at least a tenth of which are FIRST-related). That’s a lot. Granted not as many as grains of sand on a beach, but pretty close if you count all the washed up jellyfish and cigarette butts. Thank you all for reading — here’s to 10,000!

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Your Geekologie Writer: Now With 8K Articles