First of all, whoever started calling this thing a unicorn obviously failed Mythical Creatures 101 because, and I’m sure you know this, UNICORNS HAVE A UNI-CORN. This, if anything, is a duocorn, which are far less rare (I’ve even seen them dead on the side of the road).

One of the rarest creatures on the planet has been sighted in Laos. The saola, which has been dubbed the ‘Asian unicorn’ despite being double horned, hasn’t been photographed since 1999. The individual pictured above was captured and taken back to a small village, where it unfortunately died in captivity several days later.

“Died in captivity” — HA! I mean, come on. Now I’m not saying somebody obviously killed it and ate its steak with the hopes of gaining magical powers, but I did just catch the redeye back from Laos and let me tell you, boy are my arms tired! Get it? Because I masturbate on long flights!

Rare ‘Asian Unicorn’ Caught in Laos [wired]

Thanks to Divo, TobyRaider, Romeo and Jesslyn, who agree its tears probably aren’t even strong enough to make potions.

Read more:
Weird, It Doesn’t Look Magical: Rare Asian ‘Unicorn’ Spotted For First Time In Decade