Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you’re one of those women that’ll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don’t give a f*** if I stare or not (I’m going to is the thing).

Breast Milk Baby is a real $99 baby doll that, when presented with a special apron you wear with flowery “nipples”, starts suckling like a baby. Then you throw it over your shoulder and burp it or whatever. I don’t know, the point is it tries to suck nips. It’s supposed to be for little girls! I want one! No — one for each teat. So three total.

Hit the jump for videos, the first of which is a product demo complete with the worst sound effects ever. The second of which IS NSFW REAL MOMMY-NIPS.

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NOT ON THESE TEATS YOU’RE NOT!: Breast Milk Baby, The Breastfeeding Doll