Note: It’s a two-parter. Second part is after the jump.

Because a day without a Star Wars post is like a day without drinking to forget how hard I suck at life (I could pull a blueberry through a coffee stirrer), here’s Star Wars: A New Hope (AKA the first of the three good ones) told entirely in Facebook messages. Now, for those of you who haven’t ever seen the movie — uh, what the hell are you even doing here? Because if you’re gathering recon for the jocks so you can all pick on me later you’ve got another thing coming. Namely, a call from my mom. Just kidding, I fight my own fights. With a sockful of arcade tokens. That’s right, it’s quickly “game over” for any would-be bullies! Get it — arcade tokens, “game over”? What? I’m working with what I was given! (I was given shit for brains is the thing)

Hit the jump for the remainder.

Read the original:
A New Hope Told All In Facebook Messages