You know that form you have to fill out when ordering a cake? The one that tells the baker what to write? Well, it’s really important. No, I mean really, REALLY important. As in, fill in every blank, or suffer the consequences: Aw, that Eva: always waiting ’til the last minute to make up her mind. And for goodness’ sake, don’t get all fancy and try to use shorthand to save time: It’s like a code. An excessively punctuated code. Whatever happens, though, you can take comfort in knowing that every order is personally inspected and signed off on by a supervisor: Thanks, Patricia. Although I think you missed the giant 3 masquerading as a “W.” Just sayin’. Elizabeth, Monica, & Steve P., now you know. And according to the shirt I’m wearing today, knowing is half the battle. (The other half is LASERS.)

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Wreckage in its Proper Form